War Image Liberation League
A highly placed Homeland Security bureaucrat, speaking on condition of anonymity, has disclosed the existence of a secretive political action organization known as WILL. “These people will go to any lengths to get their anti-administration message out,” the official stated. The organization uses the acronym for its name, War Image Liberation League. “WILL seems to have adopted the principles of ALF and ELF,” the functionary reported, “in that they have organized as autonomous cells, all with a common goal, but without any communication with each other.” ALF is the acronym for Animal Liberation Front, and ELF stands for Environmental Liberation Front.
According to the official, typical WILL actions have taken the form of depositing mangled automobile frames on city streets. “These twisted car bodies are supposed to bring home to peace-loving Americans the horror of car bombings that are commonplace in Iraq and Israel,” the bureaucrat said, “and the Homeland Security Department has taken the position that this is a form of terrorism in and of itself.” Homeland Security has vowed to prosecute WILL members under terms of the Patriot Act v1.0 and v2.0. “They will be incarcerated without charges, they will be denied access to an attorney, they will be designated as terrorist combatants, they will be tried by military tribunal, and if found guilty, they will be executed,” the official flatly stated.
A WILL operative, speaking on condition of anonymity, has confirmed much of the report from the Homeland Security official while adding significant details. “Yes, we have placed mangled cars in about a dozen major U.S. cities,” the operative stated, naming Bloomington in Minnesota, Morristown in New Jersey, and Thousand Oaks in southern California among others. “In Bloomington, the mangled car was placed across from the Mall of America,” the WILL operative reported. “The Minnesota WILL cell’s intention was to liberate the image of a suicide bombing from the newpaper medium where people can detach from it and dissociate the reality out of consciousness. When an actual twisted car is visualized, citizens are forced to see the reality.” According to the WILL contact, a 1995 Ford was mangled using a bulldozer’s blade and then set afire to simulate the effects of an explosion and subsequent fire. The mangled car was then loaded on a flatbed truck, covered with a tarp, and surreptitiously dumped on the middle of Bloomington’s East Broadway in the early hours of the morning on November 27 to coincide with the beginning of the Christmas shopping season later that day.
The WILL representative added an important chapter to the story of the organization’s activities when he revealed that WILL cells have also placed flag-draped coffins in many locations around the country. “The administration doesn’t want people to see these coffins carrying the dead and in many cases blasted bodies of servicemen and women. WILL is determined to liberate these images too.” Flag-shrouded coffins labeled with the name of an actual Iraq invasion and occupation casualty have been deposited on the streets of the deceased serviceperson’s hometown, according to WILL.
