PELOSI/IMPEACHMENT HELD HOSTAGE BY DEATH THREAT
Many Democratis Party loyalists have felt betrayed by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi's decision to "take impeachment off the table." Now, an insider at a major arms industry corporation has provided an explanation for Pelosi's decision. According to the insider, who claims he would be murdered himself if he did not speak ON CONDITION OF ANONYMITY, the corporations comprising the Military Industrial Complex threatened Pelosi with death if she did not withdraw her pre-election threat of impeachment.
Fox News ("Fair and Balanced") is reporting that several aliens have escaped from the infamous Area 51 northwest of Las Vegas, NV. Long rumored to house the bodies and spacecraft of aliens, the site on the outskirts of Edwards Air Force Base is officially a testing site for advanced weapons. The intense government secrecy concerning the site has prompted speculation over several decades that alien flying saucers that had crashed were being examined there and that the bodies of aliens who had died in the putative crashes were being autopsied.
Now Fox News has entered the fray with a frantic breaking news story that aliens had actually escaped from the facility and that one of them, in a story reminiscent of the movie "The Bodysnatchers," had taken over the body of ordained minister and 2012 presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee. According to the Fox News broadcast, which in a sinister move was pulled from the air shortly before it was to air on Sunday evening, January 5 at 11 PM ET, the alien inhabiting Huckabee's body was attempting to sow dissent by making extreme and inaccurate comments. Specifically, the alien is alleged to have forced Huckabee to link the removal from life-support of brain-dead young Oakland, CA resident Jahi McMath to forced abortions and Nazi death camps.
The Fox News broadcast was reported by a senior Fox News technician speaking On Condition Of Anonymity.
"Fox pulled the story," according to the technician, "because Huckabee
is a widely respected commentator, and even if an alien has taken over
his body, Fox does not want to discredit one of the network's most
important conservative voices."
"The 26% of Americans who are so stupid they will believe whatever Huckabee or any of the other reporters or commentators on Fox will say don't really care if he's an alien," the disaffected technician stated, speaking On Condition Of Anonymity because he fears for his job and even his life. "I don't know if Huckabee is an alien or not," said the technician, "but he might as well be given the idiotic crap he's saying. The McMath family is facing a terrible tragedy, and Huckabee and Fox are trying to make it about Obamacare. If Huckabee really is an alien, then aliens have no compassion whatsoever. We humans should be very afraid of an alien takeover, because if Huckabee is any example, they will destroy us all without a second thought."
