OnConditionofAnonymity

     Want to experience Open Carry in a live shooting situation? Want to get real instead of protesting for your Second Amendment Rights in a shopping mall like a wussy liberal? The National Rifle Association has a vacation package just for you.

   According to an close advisor to Wayne La Pierre, NRA chief, the gun advocacy group will soon announce a vacation tour package to Iraq and Syria. The advisor spoke ON CONDITION OF ANONYMITY, because the NRA plan has not yet cleared hurdles at the U.S. Department of State. According to the advisor, the NRA wants to give its members the opportunity to practice Stand Your Ground in situations where the opponent is armed and violent, as opposed to situations, for example George Zimmerman's shooting of Trayvon Martin, where the opponent is unarmed and passive.

     The NRA advisor, continuing to speak ON CONDITION OF ANONYMITY, disclosed that the tours will take members into Baghdad where they will have the opportunity for Open Carry while walking through streets and markets that are nominally controlled by ISIS insurgents, Sunni or Shiite militias, remnants of the Iraqi army, paid assassins, U.S. Special Forces, Russian or Israeli secret service agents, or operatives from one of several private contractors working clandestinely in the Middle East.

   In the lawless environments of Iraq and Syria, NRA vacationers will have the opportunity for Stand Your Ground against armed people as young as 7 or 8, teenagers, and adult males. One of the most exciting challenges for NRA tourists according to the advisor will be discriminating between actual women wearing the head-to-toe covering burqua and male fighters concealing weapons beneath head-to-toe covering burquas.

   According to the advisor, again speaking strictly ON CONDITION OF ANONYMITY, La Pierre has said that "It won't make much difference" if an NRA tourist shoots an innocent person, because the tourists will be flown out of the Bagram airbase after 3 days in Baghdad. Tourists will fly from Baghdad to Syria where they will have another 3 days to revel in the excitement of life in a nation without a Second Amendment or any limitations whatsoever on possession of handguns or assault rifles.

     The NRA will house tourists in hotel rooms provided with alcoholic beverages that are strictly forbidden in Islamic countries. "We want our members to experience the freedoms that we are denied here in America by the Kenyan socialist President Obama," La Pierre was reported to have said.

posted by Shaman Omaha # 9:33 AM (0) comments

OnConditionofAnonymity

Monday, June 30, 2014

NRA to host tours to Iraq and Syria

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