The Thanksgiving Iraq presidential PR-Junket that never was
A First Cavalry Division officer, speaking on condition of anonymity, has revealed that George Bush was at Fort Hood, Texas for Thanksgiving. "The whole thing was a PR scam," the officer reported. "The president never left American soil." Asked how this could have been accomplished, the psychological operations (psy-ops) officer explained that "it was easy." Continuing, the officer reported, "First, you have to understand that Bush doesn't like long hours in the air. He gets bored easily. It's a long, long flight to Baghdad and back. He complained about having to fly to England the week before. Second, you also have to understand that no one, not government, not the GOP, not his handlers, not the industries that back him, is going to risk the safety of the number one asset. Our job was to find a way to make it look like he was in Iraq. That way he comes off as brave, supporting the troops, intrepid."
The iron-fisted control Bush's handlers maintain over the media together with the media's unwillingness to pursue any inconsistencies in stories handed them has made faux PR ventures like the Thanksgiving Iraq trip much easier to bring off, according to the officer. "We've finally gotten a completely controlled press in America, so our job is easier. It helps that we have a Bush double who looks exactly like the president. Air Force One did fly to Baghdad. The Bush double did make an appearance. It's all smoke and mirrors. George himself never left Texas. He took a copter ride the 50 miles over to Fort Hood. We had 600 hand-picked men and women from the First Cavalry and the Fourth Infantry, good people who are completely committed to God and to country. These people know the country's first asset can't be risked. They also would never, never disclose that they spent Thanksgiving with Bush in a secure building at Fort Hood. All that TV? We supplied it, and the nets bought it. And so, apparently, did the American people. Like I say, having a controlled press makes it possible for us to do our psy-ops work without embarrassment."
The Fort Hood officer dismissed the idea that the phony trip was flim-flamming America. "America wants to believe the president is brave, fearless, and that he courageously supports the troops by suffering the discomfort of a long plane ride to do it. America doesn't want to be reminded that the president is a draft dodger who avoided service in 'Nam and didn't show up for his National Guard training. We're just giving Americans what they want and need. Americans need images, and we supply them. That's the new reality."
