OnConditionofAnonymity

Secret Missions into Canada Authorized by Rumsfeld

A well-placed, authoritative defense department operative, speaking ON CONDITION OF ANONYMITY, has disclosed that the U.S. has developed plans for secret missions into Canada that will target supposed terrorist cells operating there. The operative called attention to recent reports in the U.S. papers stating that Canadian cities were "hotbeds" of terrorist activities. "Those stories were placed by Rumsfeld's agents," the operative said. "Rumsfeld has his Delta Force, and he's been itching to use those men. He's giving himself an excuse to do so by cooking intel that Toronto's muslim community is a base for terrorists who might attack the U.S. across the border."

The operative described "black helicopter" missions designed to "neutralize" supposed terrorists. "What that means is that some of the supposed terrorists will be killed outright," the operative said. "Others will be kidnapped and taken to Guantanamo, Egypt, Uzbekistan, or the ships where the U.S. can torture the captives." The operative disclosed that the DoD has placed its own agents in the muslim community in major Canadian cities. These agents operate entirely separately from the CIA's agents or the NSA's agents. "The DoD agents are responsible only to Rumsfeld, and they'll tell him what he wants to hear," according to the operative. "All these guys care about is the mission. They care nothing about politics or international relations," the operative said. "These guys get paid extremely well to do missions, so you can be certain they'll turn up intel that justifies their mission."