OnConditionofAnonymity

Insider: Cheney's Private Army

A second, highly placed insider from the Office of the Vice President has disclosed ON CONDITION OF ANONYMITY that Vice President Cheney is using funds withdrawn directly from the U.S. Treasury to create his own private army. "The Vice President's army is modeled on the Shiite and Sunni militias and Sadr's private army," the insider stated.

According to the insider, Cheney's private army will consist of 1,500 soldiers recruited from U.S. Army Special Forces and from the top echelons of Blackhawk USA and other private defense contractors. "Cheney has already staffed his senior administrative positions and has hired 75 former mercenaries," disclosed the insider.

The insider reported that all of Cheney's orders are stamped Top Secret using the Vice President's Office's special designation, SCI. "No one knows about this. Chemey leased a 20,000 acre California hunting club from some right-wing shooting buddies for training. These guys have equipment the NSA doesn't even know about," the insider revealed. "These guys are scary. Really, really scary."

The insider did not disclose any motive or mission goal for Cheney's army. "People in the office wonder if Cheney would use his army to defend him from arrest by one of Congress's Sargeant's-at-Arms on a Contempt of Congress Citation. Cheney has enemies in corporations that have their own private armies, and he could use his army to defend against other private armies. Hey, his guys are so good, they could probably hold off the National Guard or the U.S. Army if Congress as to send them to arrest Cheney," the insider concluded.